This is not some belated, post-retirement realisation about Life being more important than Files but rather a newly found freedom to write about Life without being constrained by the ecosystem of the File!
Looking back, it seems to me that in student life which is everyone’s first shot at real life, one starts with notes rather than notings. Right from the time you join a school and get issued a set of subject-specific note books to the college where you tend to use fewer, more general-purpose note books (in the pre-tablet days, anyway), I suppose you are expected to take “notes” either as your teacher writes it on the black board or dictates them. You then read the notes again to understand the subject better and use them finally to prepare for the examinations. So the notes are written by you and are meant for your own use.
This changed dramatically when I started my working life in the Government. There I confronted the ubiquitous reality of the file, right from my interview and appointment letter to everything that followed thereafter. In my early years as an IAS probationer and later as an Assistant Commissioner (AC) cum Sub-Divisional Magistrate (SDM), the notings on the files were still somewhat personal like the college notes, because the office that I headed was small and in the early 1970s at any rate, all notings were hand written. But already an important distinction was established – what I had written or “noted” on the file did not belong to me but was part of a public record or property with its own life cycle, rules about creation and destruction, storage, etc. Thus, I wrote not for my own edification but as an intermediary in a communication chain. I was either telling someone – generally my Block Development Officer (BDO) or Tahsildar – to do a specific thing or seeking someone’s permission – usually my Deputy Commissioner (DC) cum District Magistrate (DM) to follow a specific course of action. Within the office, there was a hierarchy of notings. Often, the initial noting in my office file was that of the Lower or Second Division Clerk (L/SDC). The BDO who wrote to me or the DC I wrote to had their own files with notings. These files spoke to each other through letters that we wrote to each other. But, at that stage in my career, it was obvious that there was more to life than files. There were tours, inspections, court hearings, meetings and plain interaction with the people from the villages (mostly) of your charge.
Soon, as Deputy Secretary in the State Secretariat, my official life was completely subsumed by files. Any matter, nay every aspect of reality, could conceivably be and perhaps actually was the subject matter of some file in one of the many departments that defined the everyday life of the citizen. I was therefore sucked into the daily habit noting and analysing some aspect of this reality, a practice that would stay with me for close to four decades. With this came the realisation that you were writing for an audience – the Secretary of the Department or the Minister and some times to your counterpart in another department or her Minister. However, since we all knew the State and its problems first hand and reasonably well, the notings were still less important than face to face meetings and dialogue. As I progressed in my career and went on to work in the Central Secretariat of the Government of India, I became even more conscious of the audience factor and the importance of the written word over action. Senior officers gave you tips on how to be less categorical in your opinion or advice. One Joint Secretary told me how he would like to see more “may” and “might” in my notings than “shall” and “should”. That is when I began to understand that the purpose of the notings on the file “may” be not so much to inform my boss but to protect myself! As the only writing that I indulged in was the notings on the file, my writing style began to reflect all the euphemisms and jargon that was part of standard bureaucratese! Many got to perfect this style of writing through repeated opportunities to draft Notes for the Cabinet, replies to Assembly or Parliament Questions or even Minister’s Speeches..
Thus the chance to write a blog not as others expect you to “draft” it or the way you want them to “read” it is all too tempting to let go. If I have lost a few years in making up my mind to blog, it is perhaps the hesitation that I may not be able to write forthrightly, in simple English what I truly feel in my heart! Anyway, that phase is now behind me.
And what I am I going to be writing? Or what are my notings going to be about? It is all too tempting to write self-importantly about reforms, policy, governance and a whole host of stuff that is heavily in the air these days. Being a firm believer that there are as yet enough bright and honest bureaucrats – and Ministers – in the system and that the last thing they want is gratuitous advice, I intend steering clearly of such topics. I would rather write about interesting people whom I had met, worked with and learnt from. I would love to write about modern institutions and their builders. I may perhaps write about how things may be rather than about how they are. I may end up writing about nothing in particular. We will see.
Talk the Walk 